RANSVESTIA

future. Many of them, in fear of dying without being able to dispose of their secret wardrobe, condemn themselves to FP-less last years. I think this is unnecessary. When you are dead, it makes no difference to you who knows what. While you are alive you have an ego that is capable of experiencing guilt. It seems to me a poor bargain to give up that which means a lot to you while you are alive in the interest of your pre- sent, living ego's concerns for those who will remain behind. No one wishes to be thought poorly of, whether dead or alive, it's true, but it is after all the living ego that is involved. So why not compose a clear, concise, statement about yourself, what you like to do, why you like to do it, what you are and what you are not, ask for understanding about it, make it clear that you kept the information out of the reader's knowledge while you were alive out of concern for them, but now they know and you hope they will be able to understand, etc. This way you can continue to enjoy your femmeself up to the end knowing that when you do pass on, there is a clear explanation to the finder of what he or she has found. Don't sacrifice the real pleasures of life for the fancied ego feelings of death.

compose

Several people have, from time to time, suggested that I such a letter, print it in TVia and then others could copy it and leave it with their things. I haven't done this for two reasons: (1) I don't feel in the mood for contemplating others' death, let alone my own, so I can't get down to that sort of task, and (2) if I did do so it would be written by me and found by your relatives and relating to you and it would not have been written in the way they would have expected you to write. I wouldn't sound like you, so to speak, and therefore would seem cann- ed, corny and unreal. Better you should write it in your own way from your own heart and in the way your survivors would expect you to say it if you were talking with them. It would then be you speaking and they would be much more likely to take it at face value and accord you the understanding which you are asking for.

It shouldn't be too much of a task and if you are concerned about survivors' feelings about you after you are gone then you owe it to yourself as well as to them to tell them like it is, in death, if you didn't do so in life.